Anti-aging. That term is everywhere and it freaks me the hell out. Does that mean that we don’t want to age? And unless you are a vampire doesn’t that mean you’re DEAD?
I get it that we live in a youth-obsessed culture, and when I was young I didn’t think twice about it. (But how about the latest trend where young people are dying their hair gray? Hooray and thank you fabulous trendsetters for normalizing gray hair!) Back to anti-aging. When I hear that term (like, everywhere, all the time) I feel like it smacks of desperation and denial.
I have an idea.
Let’s g’head and age, mmmk? And while we’re at it, can we work together to approach age in a healthy way, realizing first and foremost that age is just a number, and our attitude has everything to do with how well we progress down the road? Obsessing over every wrinkle and bulge and panicking about the fact that time is marching is making you miserable. And you know it.
The simple truth is that we’re going to die. Let’s maybe try to live while we’re alive.
Here are my 5 steps to start living your best life, right now:
- Your presence is requested. No really, right now.
Of course we need to plan for the future. And yes, there’s merit to reviewing things that happened in the past (if for no other reason than to make sure we learn from them, but not to dwell or ruminate). I admit I’m worried about the lack of interaction that we are all becoming so comfortable with. A couple years ago I staged a full scale nutty when I got to a restaurant to meet with friends and arrived at the table to see that all of the people who got there before me were sitting around the table staring at their freaking phones. All of them. For those of you who don’t know me, it’s a bit scary when I stage nutties. The phones out at the table thing didn’t happen again. Please, for you, for everyone, it’s time to put down the phone. Stop looking at your computer when you’re talking on the phone, the person you’re talking to knows you’re doing it. Look up at strangers and smile. Human interaction, it’s what’s for dinner.
- Say this out loud: “What you think of me is none of my business.”
This one is so hard at first, and yet the freedom that comes from it is so real. Do you know people who are so worried what others think of them that they are literally incapable of being happy? Of course you do, we all do. I know a couple who moved because they were worried their neighbors heard them fight. They were so wrapped around the axle of their fears of what those people thought of them that they felt they had to literally buy a different house. Whaaaa? I have news for you (and them). People only care about themselves, it’s how they're built. For a very, very small number of people, what’s happening in your life impacts them. Everyone else may be mildly interested in your life, they may even talk about you, but they don’t spend that much time thinking of you and they know your life doesn’t impact them. All of your fears about what other people are thinking and saying about you are such wasted energy that it’s painful to watch when this concept eludes someone. And here’s the other half of the equation...if someone is saying mean shit about you (are they really, or are you just afraid they are?)...but if they are, then it says more about them than you. Bam, done. Nothing to see here, let’s move along, folks. No one is perfect and you don’t have to explain or prove yourself to anyone. You are enough, just as you are. It’s truth, love.
- Move your body and eat healthy food – every day.
I know I don’t need to say anything else about this. (And I know how hard that can be sometimes.)
- Everything you feel is either love or fear.
I remember vividly the day I realized that the older generations in my family (with a couple notable exceptions) have two emotional gears: happy and fear. And fear always, and I mean always, manifests with them as anger. So if they are in pain, disappointed, frustrated, sad or scared – it doesn’t matter, if it isn’t happiness (which is really love) it comes out as anger. I remember how tectonic that realization was and recall exactly where I was standing in my kitchen when I told my cousin my revelation, and how she astutely likened it to the day of her dad’s funeral, which was a case study in love vs fear (anger). It occurs to me that the more healthy (and therefore more productive) way to approach this love/fear reality is to learn to identify your feelings and sort them. And then (here it is!), learn that your thoughts create your feelings, so if you change your thoughts you can literally change your feelings. Some people hear this and immediately just get it. Some push back, and for those of you I will say this (and do a longer post on this topic some day.) Feelings feel very, very real. But they aren’t real, they are just your thoughts creating feelings. What you are thinking is literally not happening to you. It's in your mind. WHOA! Since you are creating your own reality with your thoughts, why not make it a good reality and tell your fears about what other people think to fuck right the fuck off? (Hat tip to Danielle LaPorte for that kicky little phrase, I use all the time.)
- Bookend your day with gratitude.
It’s so kind to end your day with gratitude – you did your best and tomorrow is a new day. And when you wake tomorrow, if you wake with clear intention and a good attitude, grateful to be alive, it will impact your day. Guaranteed. Are you tired? Ok, but it won’t kill you. Stay calm, be nice, do your best, be grateful even for the little things, and go to bed again with a full heart. The day to day rhythm of our lives is such a gift. We get do-overs every day! It's so beautiful.
Are you a Wildflower?
The Wildflower Uprising is a collective of women who ask deep questions and aren’t afraid of traveling wide and far (and IN) for the answers. Wildflowers help each other and take care of each other, and fearlessly fight for what they love and want to protect. The Wildflower Uprising is about building your legacy business, but ever so much more. It’s about finding a seriously kick ass inner circle community who all want the same thing for each other – Happy! Joy! Success! There’s no room for jealousy or small, scarcity thinking in the Uprising. It’s a kind, high energy, booty kicking place where wildest dreams take shape and become reality. And we’re waiting for you!